Wo’MEN’ is the companion of man, gifted with equal mental capacity.

Woman must not accept; she must challenge.
She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her;
she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.

~ Margaret Sanger ~

Of late there has been a lot happening in the country. We have had a controversial IPL  season 3, Sania getting married to Shoaib and media going mad over it, Tharoor one of the most decent ‘neta’ resigning, RTI Act, Women Reservation Bill, Jessica Lal getting justice after 11 years, Dantewada massacre which took away 76 CRPF Jawans and much more. But through this post I discuss something which has been bothering me from a long time.

When the news of Sania marrying Shoaib broke there were so many questions that came up but one question that was asked to Sania by every reporter and which was on everyone’s lips was ” Will you continue to play for India? OR Which team will you cheer for from now onwards?” Nobody even ‘cared’ to ask the same question to Shoaib!

Now, I was wondering why the hell people are after poor Sania? And trust me, the answer was very simple “Because She is WOMAN’! Even citing this reason makes me feel so outmoded but at the end this is reality. We are living in the 21st century where India is progressing by leaps & bounds but when it comes to women, I feel sorry as a ‘man’ because the way we treat them is atrocious.

What kind of society is our’s where a woman is answerable to the whole world but a man is not?  Why every time women are made the scape goat and why do men escape as smart ‘asses’?? The problems women face are huge and I really don’t think I can do any justice to their severity and through this post I discuss some of the things which disturb me!

I recently read somewhere that the Pakistani Media is calling Sania Mirza – ‘Malik’ now. Now it has nothing to with Pakistan but it just makes me wonder why the hell women have to change their surname/last name after marriage? I mean WTF is this and who the hell came up with this concept? Why can’t men change their surname OR Why can’t be there no changing business at all? I really don’t know how women adjust with it. At least I feel it should be women’s call only. And though I don’t support the trend of using ‘two’ surname’s also viz. “Aishwarya Rai Bachchan”, “Shilpa Shetty Kundra”! Can’t they keep it a Rai or Shetty ONLY? Why to oblige your husband or the society? But still something is better than nothing!

“A woman needs to be a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom” (Read it while searching the net). Agreed cooking is an art and it is always said women and kitchen go hand in hand. But I seriously wonder that in which book is it written that men can’t cook? Why is it that the society thinks that kitchens are ‘tailor-made’ for women only? Men can work as chefs in hotels but they want women to cook for them at home. Why? Ofcourse the issue I raise is very weird! Weird because society is now set like this only and even women are set accordingly. And am quite sure that things won’t change even when I get married but the larger question is can’t men help women with all this? Why always women have to toil themselves with the household chores? I am not even sure that the question I raise is how much valid but at least I feel so!

Women in India and all over the world face a lot. The few points I raised are nothing when compared to female infanticide, rapes, dowry etc. But still I felt like sharing my views with all because I strongly respect women and I absolutely believe they are stronger than all men in everywhere be it emotionally or be it mentally!

I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He’s just incapable of it.- Barbara Jordan

And I say this because I have many ‘girl’ friends (not literally) and they are way mature and understanding than me. My mother, my nani, my aunt’s, everyone I know are just super woman’s. And come on let’s be honest and take a pledge that no more male chauvinism yaar. It’s time we realise that we all are normal human beings and we all are equal.

It’s time we shun all the age-old rural ideas, beliefs, practices and whatever and make this world a better place to live for women where they can breathe freely. And I am sure if every man thinks even for a second about her mother before doing any thing wrong, things would be different!! Now, I would like to end this post  by quoting a few lines:

“Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved”

P.S. – Guyz I know it’s a very immature article and I know I can write better but seriously I have just written what my heart said. Hope you all like it 🙂

Why I hate going to MARRIAGES?

Marriages are made in heaven! This is one of the most widely used and most frequently used line all over the world to describe marriage in a very simple way. But we forget that marriages are consummated on this earth. Earth means ‘SOCIETY’! And this irks me! Now you must be thinking why I say that?

Though I absolutely believe in the concept of marriage and I completely understand the whole celebrations and rituals going around BUT still there is something that forces me to avoid going to and attending these marriages and I am pretty sure that at least the teenagers would agree with me. I have so many points to make that I might miss on something so please oblige 🙂

First things first, the basic reason I avoid going to marriages is because if you are 22 and you are done with your graduation then you have the whole world around you who is worried about your future plans! Ab unhe kaun bataye “Biotech mein bahut scope hai”! (We are still researching the credibility of this statement 😛 ) And if you have a job then you have all the auntiji’s at your mom’s service suggesting her bahu’s. And god forbid if you are a girl then you are GONE!! I pity the girls because they are a soft target.. literally! I am sure every half an hour deals are done 😉

“Beta Pehchana”? “Beta paaon chuo” This is the biggest turn off at least for me. I mean you have loads of uncles and aunti ji’s whom your parents introduce to you and then goes Bournvita Quiz Contest where you have to crack the tough question that who the hell is the person standing in front of you! Bachpan mein to hamari god mein khela hai.. SO? How do I recognise you now? Huh. Then added trouble is you have to touch everyone’s charan. I mean I respect this tradition of taking blessings from our elders but COME ON does that mean every one is welcomed.. eh??

Okay now when the guessing game ends you go on to meet the bride and bride-groom which is so irritating. I mean you don’t even know them and here you are posing with them for I don’t know what? And if you are a kid you would be made to sit in the centre of the couple like ‘haddi’ in the ‘kebab’! Huh

Next, after all this when one thinks of gorging on the delicious food in the marriages which is the only saving grace I guess, you have the photographer hovering around the whole area, focussing on your plates as if he has paid for the food in the marriage. Every move of yours Every bite you take is under vigilance. I mean after all the sweat and energy lost in BQC and touching of umpteenth charan’s you can’t even eat in solace! And girls are again a soft target here. The photographers love to zoom in on their plates and ahmm.. ahmm.. 😛

And if all that is not enough you will find silly kids running here and there and dancing on the floor as if they are future MJ! And to top it, the parents are so happy watching their kids do all this stuff! :-/

Well, I have tried my best to cite reasons which force me to skip marriages but at the end its part of our Society and am sure when I get married or when my friends get married in the near future, it will all remain the same just the victims would change! 😀

P.S.- The above post is written keeping in mind a typical ‘North Indian’ wedding. It might be different in rest of the country.

Having said all this I have to mention that I love all the dance, songs, masti and dhamaal in Indian Weddings and I leave you all with a video from the movie ‘Bride & Prejudice’ which is my all time favorite wedding number.

JAWAN’S LIFE: Taken for Granted?

Its been one week since the ‘Dantewada massacre’ and I write this post not to discuss the problem of Naxalism in India or to propose solutions to the problem. Nor do I write this post to pay tribute to the 76 CRPF Jawans who died in this attack because I strongly feel the real tribute will be when their deaths don’t go unnoticed and they get justice!

The Central Reserve Police Force (CRPF) is a paramilitary security agency/Force functioning under the aegis of Ministry of Home Affairs(MHA), Government of India. The CRPF’s primary role lies in assisting the State/Union Territories in police operations to maintain law and order and contain insurgency. The CRPF is the largest paramilitary force in the world with 210 battalions besides various establishments. Of late, CRPF contingents are also being deployed in UN missions.

Now this gives a very rosy picture of the CRPF jawans in our country but the reality is quite different from it and it reminds me of the line which Napoleon Bonaparte quoted:

“Soldiers usually win the battles and generals get the credit for them.”  And here in India the situation is worse. How can we expect the jawans to fight during insurgencies when they don’t have proper weapons only and they are fighting for basic amenities like water, shelter and medicines? I was shocked to see the poor state of CRPF jawans in Dantewada recently in a documentary by NDTV. The recent naxal attack brought into the light the conditions in which these jawans live!

Weapons are not the only problem,” a CRPF deputy commandant in Dantewada said. “We face shortages of medicines and rations in our base camps; we are yet to figure out how to treat our men who fall sick in the camps from malaria or diarrhea; we get no doctors here.” Chintalnar camp, like many other base camps tucked inside the forests in the densely forested Bastar region, faces water scarcity and food shortages. And in the scorching summer, scarcity of food and water means half the battle is lost.

They are required to walk on foot for at least 20 km daily with a load of around 15 kg to 20 kg, including the firearms! And what is their mistake? That they chose to serve the country and its people without caring about their life or family! It’s shameful on government’s part. In America the soldiers are offered handsome salaries and umpteenth number of perks which is absolutely justified given the job they do. The families of the soldiers also lead a secure life if in case he loses life!

BUT, here the jawans don’t have access to food and water. There are no doctors to treat them. Malaria is a common disease in the camps and in the absence of proper medication it worsens  leading to ‘brain fever’ and ultimately deaths. They don’t even have proper weapons to defend themselves. There are  no ‘mine detectors’ to detect the mines which are laid frequently by the naxals. SO, what does this indicate?

The callous attitude of the government goes on to prove that in our country a jawan’s life is taken for granted! It hardly matters if they live or die. The ministers should remain safe and healthy! And its sad that the death of 76 CRPF  jawans in Dantewada made us look into the issue. I am sure the situation would be nearly same in all the CRPF camps on the country.

 This post is just a way to show how sorry I feel for the jawans. And I just pray that the jawans get their due at least now when things are out in the open. Its time a jawan gets what he deserves because I strongly believe that they deserve all the honour, respect and yes ‘perks’ also because what they do, is the most difficult job in this world!

I end this post by saying”

Let’s not WAIT, Let’s not DEBATE!

Come let’s PROPOGATE…

And not allow the country to STAGNATE!!

CWG 2010- What is the ‘common’ man doing?

 Come October and India will see the  largest multi-sport event conducted to date, in Delhi. The first ever ‘Green Games’. And ‘IF’ the games are a success then it would surely be a proud moment for the country and for all the Indians!

But for me the proud moment was way back in November 2003 when India won the bid to host the 2010 CWG by defeating Canada which had earlier hosted the games four times. I was on the moon at that time as my country had proved that it has the potential to host  an event which will be looked upon by the entire world! And now when we are only 5 months away from the D-Day I am disappointed!! Not with the Government but with the common man or the ‘aam aadmi’!!

Much has been said and much has been written about the sorry state of management and completion of projects. We all have our doubts that whether India will successfully conduct the games or not? What was the government doing since last 7 years? Where was our tax going? I absolutely agree that we have been ‘very’ slow in completing the projects and the deadlines were changed frequently. But the latest statement from the Organising committee says “The Games are going to take place from Oct 3-14 in India and there is no way the date or the venue is shifting.India will be ready in time to host a successful event.”

Now comes my concern! What have we done to ensure that the games are a successful event which makes India proud? Since the venue is Delhi, I raise the question to all the Delhiites only. The government is doing their stuff -building stadiums, improving the transport in the city, broadening the roads, making the auto wallahs learn english! In all Government is doing all it can do. But what have the people done so far?

We have public toilets everywhere but we still love to make the bricks around us salty or water the poor plants along the roadside. And if the public toilets are not good enough in numbers then think about women in such a situation .

We have dustbins but still its fun throwing stuff anywhere and everywhere. We enjoy eating paan , rajnigandha and we equally enjoy spitting the same on walls and roads. We love going to forts and tombs but its our habit to sign the  old walls with some of the cheesiest and sleaziest lines. ‘Delhi Metro’ is a sign of development and is a hard feat to achieve but it pains when I see the route maps inside the metro getting torn or despite of  the repeated announcements of ‘no eating & no drinking inside the metro, people are found munching ‘mungfalis’ during winters.  WHY?

Are we doing any good to the games or the city by doing all this or letting all this happen in front of us? Have we started using dustbins so that the city becomes cleaner or have we stopped spitting on the roads? Have we started using public transport instead of our cars so that the pollution levels go down in the city as was done in Beijing during the Olympics? How many of us are planning to volunteer for the games?  We as citizens of the country or to be precise as citizens of Delhi are doing nothing apart from complaining.

Government has increased VAT on various commodities and taking a lot of tax from the middle class. But in return government has given us low floor buses, BRT , flyovers etc. So we can at least help by keeping those roads and buses clean! This is the least we can do. With this hope I pray that CWG 2010 be a roaring success and there should be no IF’S attached to the games. They will Rock!!

P.S.- The questions I raise are very general and do not apply to the people of Delhi only.  In fact every citizen of this country should act responsibly . And  I don’t  feel that people should start acting in a civilised way because the games are around because there are simply no reasons to act in a civilised manner.

Kalyug to Satyug!

According to the Hindu scriptures, we all are living in a yug where avarice and wrath is common. Humans openly display animosity towards each other.  People  have thoughts of murder for no justification and they see nothing wrong with that mind-set.  Lust is viewed as socially acceptable, and sexual intercourse is seen as the central requirement of life. Sin has increased exponentially, whilst virtue has faded. People take vows only to break them soon after. And this yug is called ‘KALYUG’ or the age of vice.

But have we ever thought that why all these vices exist around us? Where do they originate from? Many blame it on poor Pandora and her box of troubles! Had she not opened the box everything would have been just perfect but by saying that aren’t we closing our ‘brain’ box? How much can we blame it on others? When will we learn to accept our mistakes ? If we can take credit for all the good things around us and inside us then why not take the responsibility of things which are not ‘so good’? Is it that difficult?

Kalyug is not a concept which is ‘religion-made’. In fact its a mirror! Mirror which shows that there is so much wrong happening around us and we are just happy cursing the same as a spectator!  We see a group of goons teasing a girl, but we walk away thinking its none of our business and with this, we let a vice grow in the society! Why allow bad to take over when we have so much good to offer? Why always crib about things? We feel angry and helpless if somebody lies to us but if a lie benefits us then we are okay with it. Why have these double standards?

Mark Twain rightly said One mustn’t criticize other people on grounds where he can’t stand perpendicular himself So be the change yourself. No one in this world can understand you the way you understand yourself. We all know where we excel and where we lack? What are our good habits and what are the bad one’s. So why not try and make ourselves a better person, a better human being who would be loved by God? Why not start telling the truth if we lie? Why not stop criticising if  we can’t appreciate also?  These small changes will make way for a big change around us!

 

So lets not sit back and enjoy this ‘kalyug’. Because I strongly believe that it is in our own hands to make this Kalyug change into a SATYUG! If we want we can win over anything and everything. Lets take a pledge that everyday we will try and do our bit so that the world around us is a better place to live in where there is just purity and serenity. Why not close the box that Pandora opened ages ago? Or, Why not force all the evils to go back into the box again so that the world around us is just full of positive energy and optimism!

I would like to end this post by quoting a line from ‘The Bhagwad Gita”:

Lord Krishna says  : How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

DELHI

 

DELHI- The capital city of our country India!  But for me the city has been the capital of some of the most memorable moments of my life which am sure won’t come back!

 2006- When i came to Delhi it was just another city for me where i had umpteenth number of relatives staying. But as I started exploring the city, the city made me fall in love with it. I don’t know if it was the Mughal architecture around the city, the punjabi culture, the mouth watering chaat, the uber cool youngsters of the city or the carefree attitude of people , that made me fall in love with the city!

It is said ‘Dilli-Dilwallon ki’! And after staying in the city for 4 years I can say its undoubtedly true! The people of Delhi contrary to the normal belief are very warm and helpful. If you are new in the city and you don’t know the roads, don’t worry! you ask one and there will be ten more to help you out. You are always welcomed in the city with open hearts and you are always at home 🙂

The young crowd in delhi is one of the coolest & sexiest. The gals have loads of attitude and that is something to die for!! Sophistication, class, grace and elegance – they have it all! Infact Delhi is one of the cities which is high on fashion with two of the biggest fashion weeks being held here yearly. I have to admit the city groomed me like anything. I was a simple guy from Jaipur but the city made me ‘smart’! 

The city made me mature. The city made me confident. The city made me brave. The city made me what I AM TODAY!  The fast paced life where everyone is busy with something or the other you have to make a way for yourself –  Make your way into the crowded DTC and Blueline buses, in the delhi metro, into the narrow lanes of old delhi, into the flee shops at janpath or sarojini.. everywhere!!  But it surely creates a MAN out of the boy and trust me all the sweat lost is worth it.

Delhi’s slang language is something which is ‘tod’! 😉 You will come across cheap, crass and crude words which are a part of Delhi’s young crowd. Jhand, Tod, Chudap, Bakchodi, Tota, Pataka are some of the examples. And trust me if somebody calls you by these names just chill!! Its fun and normal out there 😀

Coming to the beauty part of it.. it has everything that you can ask for. The Mughal Forts, Tombs, Temples, Churches, Rashtrapati bhavan, Lutyen’s Delhi and much much more. It was here in this city where Pandavas ruled and it was here where the Mughals ruled. HISTORY is Delhi and Delhi is HISTORY!  A walk through the crowded and dusty lanes of dilli-6 with Red fort, Jama Masjid standing tall makes one delve into the mughal era. Connaught Place is where the heart of delhi is! It has nothing but has everything.. This part of delhi with its flee markets like janpath, palika bazaar and the whole hustle & bustle of the area is something which makes this part lively. With famous outlets like Keventers, Madras Coffee House, Sravanabhavan there is ample to satisfy your taste buds. So a trip toC.P. is must. 

A walk through Raj path in the evening with India Gate at one end & the Rashtrapati Bhavan at the other, patriotism just comes out naturally and according to me its the most beautiful place in Delhi. Culturally, Delhi is multi-cultural. You have people of all religions and regions living here peacefully, though Punjabi’s and Sikhs form a larger part with muslims dominating the old city.

Last but not the least the Delhi Metro! Aahhhh… it is the best thing that the people can get in the traffic which is ever increasing. My innumerable trips in the Metro remain a special memory. Metro made my trips from Noida so so easier that i explored the city at ease.

Words are not enough to describe what makes Delhi  special for me. Delhi gave me 4 very very beautiful years of my life which were made perfect with some of the great people in my life- My F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!!! It was all because of them and I am nothing without them.

I would like to sum it up by writing down lines from the movie delhi-6

“Iske baaye taraf bhi dil hai,

Iske daaye taraf bhi dil hai.

Yeh shehar nahin mehfil hai!!”

Yeh Dilli hai mere yaar.. Bas ISHQ, MOHABBAT, PYARRRR!!!